


Love may not be easy, but it is free

by Nocturnal_Daydreams



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Danger, Eyes of Nine - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Caleb Widogast, Pining Jester Lavorre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27618064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal_Daydreams/pseuds/Nocturnal_Daydreams
Summary: Beau and Caleb are taking watch when he gets told to make a move on Jester finally but he's not so sure. What will it take to open his heart?Spoilers for up until 116 though not major ones but one big guess on Eyes of Nine.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha, Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	Love may not be easy, but it is free

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetqea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetqea/gifts).



> A request by sweetqea from a headcanon, obviously took a more romantic and fanfic-y turn here but still within the same idea. Got another one I'm working on currently and sorta ill but if you wanna request feel free, I'll definitely get back to you.

The amber glow of the Tiny Hut cascaded them in safety but they took watches all the same. Caleb had insisted the graveyard shift, surprised when Beau volunteered with him and both of them rose from Fjord and Veth’s watch with relative ease. Caleb didn’t have the concentration for studying tonight, a rare but true thing, they played I-spy and their lives. That begun with Empire exchanges but had now moved to the point inbetween. The far more interesting section for the two of them, although not as interesting as their lives as Mighty Nein. Becoming part of the Cobalt Soul and his first bout of homelessness after the sanatorium, he told her how scared he was of his fire then and how he would rely on the baker trick to live. Empire’s could have some deadly seasons when they wanted. Their I-spy game came to another pause with the answer lightning and Beau sparing a glance at Yasha and Caleb bit at his lip to hold back telling her. He placed some more logs on the fire and sat back down with her.

“She, um, wrote me a poem, you know.”

“I didn’t but that’s great.” He responded, curious but sure that if she wanted to tell him more she already would have it out, “on her behalf, I hope you like it. You know how much you mean to her, don’t you?”

There wasn’t much of a reaction from Beau but she kept watching a sleeping Yasha, “I didn’t. I always thought I didn’t have a chance. But I think I’m starting to understand.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Planning on doing something about it?” He poked at the fire with a stick.

“That’s why I’m on watch. I want to make an agreement with you.”

“Ja?”

“I will tell Yasha if you tell Jester.” Beau offered and Caleb nearly choked. He knew that he wasn’t as secretive as he liked to be but had hoped that it wasn’t too noticeable. Even without that it wasn’t what he had expected to hear.

“I… It’s not the same.”

“How is it not? We’re both so in love it makes us look stupid. The way we both hold it in like true empire kids is killing us.” She reasoned perfectly. Caleb hated that she was right.

“It’s different because you have a chance. A chance with Yasha, you had a chance with Jester. You deserve people.” 

“The only reason I will not tell you different is I know you won’t hear me. But even if everything else was true, she deserves to know.”

He looked at Jester sleeping up to Frumpkin and he felt the lump in his throat, “I tell her and I lose her. I’m not strong enough to cope without her.”

Beau blinked a few times, “You really believe that, don’t you?”

He gave in to letting a few tears pass, no words, just nodding. Hesitantly, Beau put her hand on his shoulder in an almost ‘there, there’ pattern. Caleb let out a quiet laugh and patted the top of her hand, “Thanks, I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”

“Just a lot. I stand by what I said. At the very least Jester deserves to know that she’s really cared for. You know she thinks she comes second to everyone, right?”

“I’m stupid not blind. And I do wish I could help. But you’d be more stupid to do nothing about Yasha. Not every day a girl writes you poetry.”

“Not every day you read a girl your favourite childhood book, either. Oh, best wake up Cad.” She said, waking the content firbolg up and Yasha before saying as they both went to sleep, “But we’re agreed, we’ll both take action. Night, Caleb.”

He wanted to argue or deny it but it would cause questions and he truly wasn’t in the mood for this argument, he was just wore out so he went to sleep. He didn’t sleep well but he did sleep so he guessed that was something. Jester woke him up the next morning for breakfast and the action overwhelmed him with the urge to sleepily kiss her and go back to sleep. The thought sent his heart a mile a minute but he simply wiped his eyes and stretched instead, sticking his tongue at her when she teased him for sleeping in. A bright smile shone through to that and he decided Beau was at least right in that he should let her know she wasn’t just always second. 

They had breakfast and set out for the day and he told Frumpkin telepathically to be around Jester. Frumpkin and Sprinkle had come to some light truce that stayed with hissing and Jester held Frumpkin to her, stroking him and smiling her thanks to Caleb until they got a moment where they were close enough to whisper. He assured her it was okay any time and stroked Frumpkin’s head and walking along. They were out looking for clues for the Eyes of Nine’s current location. They’d got passed them so many times and chased them from land to land. Right now, they were in a much greener mountainous land and felt like they were getting close but it also seemed like they may spend weeks looking through each mountain.

He could tell that the scrying being interfered with was having an effect on everybody, mostly Jester. She felt it was her responsibility regardless of what anyone said and what results she got. Somehow, she was getting them closer though. He was so proud of her but worried for her wellbeing, she was stretching herself thin for this, he hoped when this was dealt with it would help her more. They explored a handful of caves finding nothing and at one point rolled into the valley when they were as certain as they could be by their safety. Night came and having not used any too large a spell Caleb cast for the Nein-sided tower. Beau looked really nervous when they all left for their bedrooms that night but noted she went to her room. He pulled the sash for one of his cats and told them to send two hot chocolates to Beau’s room and opened the door a squeak to make sure he could hear her brave it. 10 minutes he heard the telltale whisper, “I’m gonna kill Caleb.”

Thankfully it was followed by a knock on a door and Yasha’s voice. He quietly closed it back up, that was all he had needed to check and went back to his studies, in a better place today to focus.

His payback came the next day in the form of a swift push into Jester from Fjord with a smirk on a face who winked at Beau. Wow, he really was so much less subtle than he thought and must have been too caught up to pay attention recently. Still, he apologised for barging into her, “Sorry, Blueberry, I tripped on a stone.”

She knew he meant ungracefully yet still joked, “Oh, no, so squishy that a stone will take you out, Caleb? I will protect you from these terrible stones.”

“Ah, truly an impressive bodyguard.” 

The joke immediately took hold and her walk took a protective stance in front of him kicking away any pebbles or rocks or stones in his way, revelling when he finally dissolved into a hearty laughter that they very rarely heard from Caleb. All mission worries aside it was a pretty great day. Jester came up that night and asked not for that night but another night to be read another story. Caleb smiled, nodded and instructed on where in the Salon she would find books she liked. Gradually the days got a lot harder. Things weren’t happening and they were looking for hay in a haystack. In one mountain cave, somewhere in this set of them, was a member of The Eyes of Nine. Looking for an item they had to beat them to that Arti had only insisted you’ll know it when you see it. They were grating all a little and fed up. The danger of all they know and the possibility of getting Molly back were touchy subjects and too depressing to be good inspiration. They had messaged forward to the Ruby and agreed to take a few parties and a holiday when this one was finished before heading off to the next thing. Caduceus had been the one to suggest it but there were arguments whether it was better to already set off to his family. Yet he insisted and eventually it was agreed upon.

That was enough to get them through another two days and when they finally came upon Tyffial. They’d already had a long day and their bones groaned as they boosted into sprints out of nowhere but they were definitely close. Tyffial was so strong for one person it was ridiculous. Obscenely ridiculous. It became rather obvious that all the Eyes of Nine borrowed powers from one another. It would be so much more interesting without spells and a sword heading their way so fast they barely have time to duck. At one point they got in front of him to what they are searching for and get close enough to find half. It seemed to be one half of an abstract key and they immediately went to find the other half. Tyffial pipped them to the post and had them in a rather compromising position.

“It seems I’m the king of the castle and you’re the dirty rascals.” He half singsonged and half spoke, completely taunting but Jester rolled her eyes and her duplicate hit him with her spiritual weapon. Caleb could have kissed her. They had to focus. They got a few good hits in, so did he, but after a particularly good one he laughed at them. A cackle as he goaded them, “Oh by the by, little kids, kill me you lose Molly forever. The eyes need their pieces to give Nonagon to the true holder. You take a piece out before it is ready and the whole puzzle is messed up.”

Jester and Yasha’s eyes shot to each other. A much larger question on their lips – what were they to do now? 

They continued on with the fight, showing the Nein were nothing to be laughed at either but they had already done a lot today and reverting to non-lethal fighting was as a ball and chain to the leg. Caduceus was feeling the heat when they decided to escape with their piece and hope now it was enough to stall them and move on, especially as Tyffial seemed oddly desperate to be on schedule. If they timed it right, it would work. Yasha took Caduceus out with relative ease. That left them working with 5. Just a few more minutes. 1 minute in Caleb gave Veth the sign to get gone. It took her a little while but she got out and Fjord put self in as distraction from the path and it was like they passed it down the line to gain his attention and hit him – just not too hard. Fjord and Jester were the next hiding away and bamfing to safety while Caleb and Beau took steps forward into the frey to give it all they had and use the play that Caleb had the key. 

What they weren’t to know was when Jester tried to bamf she didn’t. She couldn’t. She felt bound to the ground. The only bonuses were Artagnan was beside her in spirit and she was already in a defensive position, behind a rock when this inevitably went wrong. They weren’t sure how or if Tyffial knew she had the key but she had been the most susceptible to Molly taunts; right now, she was an easy target.

Caleb and Beau gave the best they could without risk of killing him and it stopped him from chasing the group or them. Beau darted just before Caleb to give a moments attacking shielding. Caleb felt a smile raise as he got ready to dash to the safety point, he’d kept everyone safe. They may not have both parts or the Eyes of Nine but they had one another. Caleb ran over only to immediately see – no Jester – without a single thought in his mind he ran back.

Artagnan holding her shield kept them safe as Tyffial desimated the rock in front of her. Attacks were coming thick and fast though. They didn’t know. She was going to die and they wouldn’t know until they tried to find her and her god would stay by her until the very end. They would never leave her alone on purpose. Not again. Traveller gave his word but there was only so much he could do without his physical form. They all would but they didn’t know that he was approaching and was likely going to take her and do the terrible rituals they had done with others. She hadn’t told them she loved them, not recently. She hadn’t told him… 

A familiar sense came over her as a ginger man crouched beside her, wrapping an arm around her, pushing with his other hand against the shield, frankly the only space left on it. His lips were by her ear when he began whispering.

“I’m here, Jester. You’re okay. Don’t panic, ja?” He was reassuring her as he panic thought, “Me, you and the traveller, we will be okay. I’ll get us out of here, I promise.  
Ich habe dich, es wird dir gut gehen, ich gehe nirgendwo hin, meine Liebe.”

Usually she would be panicking but he was here and he would keep her safe like she did him, she was okay. But now was the time to tell him something, “Caleb, I can’t move.”

He spared the shortest look at her, panic taking over him. It would be too long to dispel her and to keep him away. They’d die here. The team were likely already on their way over and everything would be messed up. He thought of throwing Jester into the bank and had one idea in his state.

“Jester? Trust me? When you can run yell Yahtzee. Don’t look back. Ich liebe dich.”

He stood up, cast Telekenesis and threw Tyffial at the closest wall, not caring if it killed him, only thanking his lucky stars it worked. It was his last spell today. If he survived, they wouldn’t even have the hut tonight. Artagnan smiled and disappeared as Jester felt her legs move a little. Tyffial hit the cave wall like a ragdoll and was down as the stones shook, Caleb didn’t watch anymore as he heard, “Yahtzee.”

She didn’t let him stay, the moment she said it she grabbed his hand and run as fast as she possibly could out of there with him in tow. They got out of sight and into safety.

They weren’t sure he was alive until they heard threatening words and a flashing sound of magic. They knew then he was gone but they didn’t stop moving until they were with the group. They were a little off spot, still out of sight but from here you could see down. They knew they couldn’t all run back and so had had to wait and watch. Not a spell between them and not enough ranged weapons it seemed. All worried senseless. The group hugged them all and even Caleb accepted and joined the affections. Jester threw herself into his arms after, not saying a word but resting her head on his shoulder. He whispered, running a hand through her hair, “I’ve got you. I told you we’d be fine.”

Eventually he thought he felt her press her face more into the shoulder then she said, “I couldn’t move. I couldn’t move again.”

“But now you can. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” 

Jester didn’t cry but she’d have felt less seen through by everyone, if she had been bawling. 

Some time later they made a fire and had dinner somewhere a little but definitely not a lot more safe. Caleb slept and Jester sat beside him, talking to Beau, “What did he say?”

She had only just finished copying what he said word for word. Beau’s eyebrows raised part way through but she said not a word about it before answering, “Come on, Jester. You know I can’t tell you that. I barely know any Zemnian. You could ask him. Or tell him… Fine, how about start with what you know.”

“Ich is I. Es is is. Gut is good. Miene is my. That’s it. That’s all I have – I like dick, it is very good, I am distracting you, my blueberry. Then - I’ll launch dick. Meaning other dude.”

“Not even close.” Beau chuckled behind closed hands to mute the noise.

“Gimme a clue.”

“Fine. It’s not blueberry – blaubeere is blueberry…Okay, okay, I yield, dich isn’t dick. It means you.”

Jester had all of dinner to consider this before Caleb woke up. He slowly ate and stretched. Others began to fall asleep and Jester took watch while Caleb finished up and also volunteered.

“Caleb?”

“Yes, Jester?” 

“When I was stuck. I wasn’t alone but we could have died there. But then I had you. Thank you. You made me feel safe. Even though I don’t know half of what you said, I know it was lovely.”

“Ahh, yes. I spoke Zemnian, didn’t I?” He tried to hide his new panic.

“Yeah, you panicked. I got some of it. What did you say though?” 

His head fell in his hands and he groaned. Part of him wish he had died there and not had to explain it now or that the floor was a mimic that was about to eat them. No such luck. She’d never stop asking, “Which part?”

“All of it, Cay-leb.” She was telling him off a little for trying to dodge.

“Oh,” and then he swore, a lot, in Zemnian. She didn’t have to understand a word to know he was swearing a lot. “Fine! Fine. I ought to tell you anyway.”

She was half way between reassuring him it was fine with his huffing or laughing her head off that he was pulling a midnight temper tantrum. As it stood, it broke the last straw and she spoke without even thinking, a small bout laughter escaping, “Damn, I love you, Caleb.”

It was Caleb’s silence that let her know that she said it out loud. She tried to look at him but she couldn’t tear her eyes from the fire. He kept asking what but she held her gaze and tried not to cry. She’d done so good in stopping herself and she fell apart because he’d thrown an adorable hissy fit. He may leave the group or make everything awkward or go with someone else in front of her and shatter her soul into pieces or … damnit. She heard him stand and bit at her lip, she couldn’t cry. Not until she was alone.

His hand steadied itself on her shoulder and his lips were by her ear again, “I told you that I have you and that you will be okay because I’m not going anywhere, Meine Liebe. My love. And I meant it. Then I told you I love you. That’s…that’s ich liebe dich. And I meant that too.”

A tear finally escaped and her voice broke as she asked, “Not because we were about to die?”

“A little bit because we were about to die. I couldn’t die in that room, having never told you. Having never let you know, Jester.” He whispered still by her ear. He might be having a heart attack but it would be fine, his head fell onto her shoulder.

But only for a moment as she swiftly turned, grabbing his head in her hands, tears streaming down both of them, she pulled him forward and stopped, lips brushing slightly as she asked, “May I?”

He nodded. Barely, before she kissed him vigorously. He was dreaming, he wasn’t dreaming. Damn, it didn’t matter, her lips were on his and he was holding her close but not close enough. Their lips met again and again and if he could stay here forever, showing her his love and passion for her in the meeting of their lips. He was cupping the back of her neck when they stopped a moment.

A cough interrupted, “You’re supposed to be on watch.”

It was Veth’s voice only to be immediately followed by very fake snores. Both laughed quietly and took seats, adding to the fire and watching out for stuff.

She took his hand and he whispered, “A watch, my love, I think we got this.”

“Caleb, I…um… never got asked out. I would really like if…”

She was right. Too locked up when she was young to do any such thing. And if anyone deserved to be wooed it was her. He turned towards her, “Oh, yes! Of course. Jester, I love you…”

“I love you too, Caleb.” She interrupted, happily.

He beamed a moment and relaxed before asking, “You light up my life, blueberry. You are too lovely and loving to a silly man like me but all the same. Would you consider being my love?”

“Of course I would, if you would be mine also?”

“Ja. You’ve always had me should you want me, Jester.”

“Good.” They smiled, staring into one another’s eyes a moment before Jester spoke softly, “We should watch.”

“If you don’t mind.” Caduceus muttered from further up, “I’m really quite tired.”

“Sorry, guys.” Both replied, realising, everyone was some state of still awake. There were mutters of it being okay and Veth didn’t stop fake snoring but raised a thumbs up.

Eventually, everybody else properly fell asleep and the watch went quietly, Caleb and Jester’s hands entwined and the feeling of a new start was on the horizon. There would be questions and teasing in the morning when the Mighty Nein weren’t too tired to just let them be. They had a lot to talk about regarding themselves. There were bigger problems with the Eyes of Nine and so much more problems ahead of that. They were growing and learning about themselves and one another. It was a big, scary world out there. That would be fine with them, they had the Mighty Nein, they had this and they finally had one another.


End file.
